For some time now, I have been reading Breandán Ó Doibhlin’s translations from French. Although I don’t say all his writings are bad Irish, nor do I think he is a particularly bad example, I think he could do better. Here are some examples of dubious Irish I would like to criticize:
In Smaointe le Blaise Pascal, on Page (ii), we found an example of that old abomination:
“Mhair sé ó 1623 go 1662, tréimhse inar stróiceadh Éire ó chéile ag cogadh agus fuath a shíolraigh ón athrú mór creidimh a d’fhág críostaithe roinnte ina gCaitlicigh agus ina bProtastúnaigh.”
I think I have pointed it out a million of times that the autonomous forms are no passives, but rather active voice forms with no subject mentioned. The whole reason why you use autonomous forms is, that you want to avoid to mention the subject, the “doer”. You can say bhí Éire á stróiceadh ó chéile ag cogadh (continuous passive: “Ireland was being torn apart by war”) or bhí Éire stróicthe ó chéile ag cogadh (situational passive, or as Germans say, zustand passive: “Ireland had been torn apart by war”). But when you use autonomous forms (stróictear, stróicfear, stróiceadh, stróicfí, stróictí), do not use the agent “ag”. If you need to mention the subject, then do please mention it.
I would rewrite this sentence thus: “Mhair sé ó 1623 go 1663. Sa tréimhse chéanna, bhí Éire á stroiceadh ó chéile ag an gcogadh agus ag an bhfuath a shíolraigh ón athrú mór creidimh a d’fhág na Críostaithe roinnte ina gCaitlicigh agus ina bProtastúnaigh.” Note that I made two sentences out of it, that I made a progressive, continuous passive out of it - the Irish simple past has a stronger sense of perfectivity, a goal attained, than the English past tense, but I don’t think there is a goal achieved here, the idea is rather that of Ireland being continously in the process of being torn apart - and that I inserted some definite articles there which weren’t there to start with.
The latter is because in Irish the definite article is not only definite, but also generic. “A cat is an animal” must in Irish be expressed as “is ainmhí é an cat”. “Irish is a Celtic language” is in Irish “Is teanga Cheilteach í an Ghaeilge”, because we are speaking about Irish as a whole. If we say that Reformation (in Irish, of course, an Reifirméisean or an t-athrú mór creidimh) left Christians divided, in Irish we must call them na Críostaithe.
On Page 2, we see
“Tosaigh leis na díchreidmhigh a chásamh”.
This can, if read as Gaeltacht Irish, only mean “Begin in order to express concern for the unbelievers”, but I think the message he, or Blaise Pascal, wanted to convey was “Begin by/with expressing concern for the unbelievers”. The construction “le rud a dhéanamh” means in Irish “in order to do something”, “supposed to do something”, “obliged to do something”. I guess the guy wanted to say Ar dtús, bí ag cásamh na ndíchreidmheach.
On Page 28, he uses “ó aois ár leanbaíochta” = since our childhood, “since the age of our childhood”. This is not explicitly wrong, but personally, I would prefer ónár gcéad óige, because “aois leanbaíochta” and “leanbaíocht” are very often in the sense of “an dara leanbaíocht”, i.e. senility and dotage.
On Page 47, we see “an coinníoll daonna” in the sense of “human condition”. Coinníoll, though, in Irish only means condition in the sense of stipulation, not in the sense of state, situation, or circumstances. That sense is better translated with “cás”, as in “tuigim do chás”, which basically means “I understand the condition you are in”. To give Ó Doibhlin his due, he does in some other context use “cás an duine ar an saol seo”, which is an exact and correct translation of “the human condition”. (I’m not sure, but he might have used “ar an tsaol seo” instead, because he tends to adhere to the Ulster rules of lenition.) On Page 48, there is another instance of “coinníoll” used in this sense: “ár gcoinníoll fannlag básmhar” (”our feeble, mortal condition”). I guess “cás” wouldn’t do here, but there are other alternatives, such as “ár staid fhannlag bhásmhar” or even “staid seo ár bhfannlaige is ár mbásmhaireachta”.
On Page 58, there is made use of “bunaithe” in the sense of “established”: “is é is ceart ann an rud atá bunaithe”. I would prefer “seanbhunaithe”, which is indeed used in the same paragraph.